Cold
by smittyloveshpfic
Summary: James always goes after something he cannot win, will he just look in front of his face to find the thing he already has won? Slash.. JPSB :D Based off of some Crossfade lyrics..


**Looking back at me I see  
That I never really got it right  
I never stopped to think of you  
I'm always wrapped up in  
Things I cannot win  
You are the antidote that gets me by  
Something strong  
Like a drug that gets me high**

James Potter, 7th year Head Boy, was sitting on his bed thinking about his yesterday.

:: Flashback ::

"Lily! Wait, I'm sorry." James called after her down a vacant hallway.

"You not sorry Potter, you just want me to think you are." Lily said without turning around or stopping.

"Please, don't be mad at me, I didn't hurt anyone, it was all in good humor." James said, still trying to catch up with her.

"For everyone but Snape, he could have got hurt." Lily snapped still not turning around or stopping.

"Lily. He is a jerk and you know it, he didn't get hurt…much." James smiled trying to lighten the mood.

"You're the jerk. You never stop to think of anyone but your self."

"That's not true. I think about you all the time." James was still trying to break Lily's serious mood.

"Stop. Just STOP! Stop giving me compliments, stop trying to impress me, stop asking me out, and just stop everything! I am so tried of you. You always think of what is best for you, you say you have friends that you talk to about everything which is a lie."

Lily had finally stopped walking and she and James were face-to-face. She was ready to let it all out.

"What are you talking about," James said a little angry, "I talk to my friends all the time."

"Bullshit. I haven't seen you with your friends all week, you even pulled this prank by yourself."

'**She is right, I have been following her all week.'**

"Look…"

"No James. I am tried of you and your games. I am going to tell you this once. I don't want you and I never will. You are useless to me. If you ever try to talk to me again, you will see how much one person can ignore another." Lily said and turned around and left a low James in the distance.

"James?" A head popped in the door-way of his private dorm.

James looked up to see a face of a best friend, Sirius.

"Hey." James managed to get out.

"What's wrong Jamie?" Sirius said making his way over to James' bed and sitting next to him.

James tried to smile at his nickname from Sirius but couldn't muster up any happy emotion.

"Jamie…Tell me what's wrong. I'll help you."

Sirius always was his helper, the one that got him happy when he was down, his drug.

"It's Lily.." Was all James could get out before he felt a tear roll down his cheek and reached for Sirius.

Sirius felt like he was watching James reach for him from an outside view. James never cried. James was the heart of their pack, the strong, and the brave one.

"Siri… please. Just hold me, make it all go away. Do what ever you always do, make it better." James pleaded with Sirius and leaned to him.

Sirius breathed in. _'Here I am. The antidote.' _ Then he grabbed James into a tight embrace and held him until he fell asleep.

::End Flashback::

James shook his head to try to get the good feeling that he got by thinking of Sirius holding him all night.

What I really meant to say  
is I'm sorry for the way I am  
I never meant to be so cold to you

**AND**

The screwed up side of me that I keep  
Locked inside of me so deep  
it always seems to get to me

I never really wanted you to go

"Hey Sirius, can we talk." James asked Sirius later that night. Sirius was in a heated game of chess with Remus in the common room.

"Yeah sure, hold on. Hey Peter, come play for me." Sirius called at a short, pudgy boy over from his studies.

"I thought you wanted to win." Remus said.

"Ha-ha, there is no beating you Remmy." Sirius smiled as James pulled him out of the common room.

"Okay James, don't tear my arm off. In the broom closet?" Sirius asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It is the big closet you nut." James said pushing him into it and crawling in after him.

"Okay, what's the big news? You acting like someone died." Sirius said.

"I'm sorry." James said, hiding his blushing face, he was just WAY to close to Sirius at the moment.

"What?" Sirius asked confused.

"I'm sorry for the way I am, I never meant to ignore you, or anyone else. I guess what I really mean to say is, I never meant to be so cold, especially to you." James sighed.

"James, its okay, you just wrapped up in things you cannot win. When there is something you have already won right in front of your face."

"Sirius, please tell me you are talking about you." James said.

"Look James, last night, last night was one of the best nights of my life, and I just held you. But I understand if you want to stay friends and you can keep running after something you can't get." Sirius said starting for the door. "But I want you to know James."

"Yeah?" James said looking up from his hands.

"She isn't good enough for you." He said as he left.

"I don't want you to go." James whispered.

Sirius walked back into the common room alone. No James chasing after him, no James calling his name. Just Sirius walking in alone.

'_Good.' _Sirius thought, _'Maybe he will think things over.'_

"Oh no." Remus said looking up from his book.

"What? Where is Peter?" Sirius asked.

"I beat Peter a minute after you left, and you killed him didn't you?" Remus said.

"Hehe, I wish. No I just left him to think things over."

"Oh, so you told him you want to have crazy animal sex with him and possibly marry his ragged ass?" Remus said looking back at his book.

"Not quite Remmy, you have one twisted mind. I just told him that he shouldn't chase after things he will never win when there is someone he has already won right in front of his face."

"Oh no, dammit Sirius! You know James is simple, he won't get it, I told you, small words and no metaphors." Remus said putting his book down on the table.

"Remus, he is second in our class, I think he will get it."

Just then a ball consisting of James Potter tackled Sirius from the couch to the floor.

"And this is where I take my leave." Remus mumbled.

"James your crazy, what is wrong with you?" Sirius said looked up at James who was straddling him.

"I want what is in front of my face. I want you Sirius." James said.

"I want you to James." Sirius said leaning up to kiss James.

After a mild make-out, James pulled away.

"Why are you stopping?" Sirius asked.

"I want you to know."

"What?" Sirius said opening his grey eyes to meet James hazel ones.

"You are way too good for me." James said smiling.

"Hey, that's for me to decide. And I think you are perfect for me." Sirius said.

A/n: Second story today! Oh yeah. So basically I am just trying to write stuff and avoid writing a new chapter to 10 Things... lol

Basketball DOES start tomorrow, so 10 Things is on a defiant hold.

Thanks for reading… REVIEW!

Your Obedient Servant,

**O.G.**

****


End file.
